Love: we think about it, sing about it, dream about it, and lose sleep worrying about it. When we don't know we have it, we search for it. When we discover it, we don't know what to do with it. It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define an impossible to live without.
I read this quote from Marvin Sapp's Facebook this morning and immediately identified with it. If you read my last post you know that I am embarking on a new journey. I'm striving to be completely honest in every area of my life-letting all be transparent to those around me and more importantly to myself. There has been this one thing that has been bothering me for some time and today I want to get it out in the open regardless of anyone's opinions or what the future may hold.
Let's focus in on the quote: "Love. Ahh, yes! Love! Romantic love. Oh how it consumes our thoughts! It is the underlying theme in almost everything we watch. We can't even turn on the radio without hearing someone sing a love song. Most of us spend our lives searching for that one true love. Its just that important!"
There are three phases that most of us go through: the search, the discovery, and the dilemma. There is a constant search to find the man or woman of our dreams. We look everywhere! The malls, our schools, church, and online dating sites etc. The sky is the limit to searching for the love of our lives. It is a focal point of almost every human being. To love and to be loved. that is our quest.
But what about when we find it? The big discovery. I dare say that when we do, a lot of the time we don't even know we have; therefore we continue searching! What madness! I had to search within myself to understand why we do this. Maybe because we are too scared to really believe that the person we've found is the one we've been searching for. And believing that they aren't, only extends our search. Whether we want to believe it or not, sometimes "the search" is safer than actually admitting we have found "the one". Because once we have found the one we must come to the realization that the relationship is more work than the search. And the very relationship that we put work into is bound to cause us some hurt at one time or another. It's not because they are not the one but because sometimes love induces pain and humans will always let you down intentionally or unintentionally.
Alas! Once you've discovered that you found the one, it can become difficult to know what to do. Our emotions are all over the place! That is why we must turn to the Word of God and to those who have experience and wisdom in the matter on how to go about a romantic relationship. There is so much wisdom and understanding to be gained from these sources.
Then may come your dilemna: fear. Oh how it eats at the soul! We become so afraid of losing that one we have searched so long for! And walking in fear hinders the relationship from growth and trust. You may not realize it, but you are sabotaging your own happiness!
I may have not been "around the bend" a lot but I have learned some things about myself and my search for love. The search sucks but it safe. It's easier to believe that you need to keep searching than to admit you may have found him! Why? Because once the discovery is made there are responsibilities that follow. The rules that are acceptable during the search are no longer acceptable. I have dealt with this for half the year. Learning to do things differently has been an adjustment for me. Afterall, you have to think of him in every decision you make because he will be affected by everyone of them.
Now that I am just about over that bridge comes the fear. I have been so afraid of losing him that I've sabotaged our love. And I've been scared to admit it to my family and friends and even to myself, the way I feel about him. Because if I were to let it out in the open and it did not work out I would feel stupid and I feel people would look down on me. But no more! No matter what's to come I won't do that. I will not suppress the way I feel thinking that it will keep me from getting hurt in the end.
So here it is: I AM CRAZY IN LOVE!!! I am absolutely head over heels and I feel extremely blessed by God to have been graced with a man like this. Words are few because to be honest I'm quite speechless. Its funny how God will take the person you least expected and drop him.in the middle of your life for the better. So yes, I am really in love and I really dont care what anyone has to say anymore...#gettingfreefrompeoplesopinions
The Search, The Discovery, The Possible Dilemna. Recognize which step you're on and admit it all...you'll feel so much better!
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