My First Love

I have been yearning to write a new post for a couple of days now without any progress. I have written about ten paragraphs only to erase them and start over. I actually did write an entire one, but after publishing it I quickly deleted it. You know those times when you have so many things swirling in your mind you don't know which to concentrate on first? Yep. Its been like that. Yet as I sit to write I am compelled to tell you a story. One that not even the most skilled writer could create. Its a story of my love. My first love.

It all started years ago. My earliest memories are of this man. Oh how he swept me off my feet. I fell for him and he caught me and never let me go.

My parents tell the story of a time when i was just three years old. Sitting in the back seat of a car I had tears rolling down my face. Unrehearsed and undoubtedly I cried. But these tears were not a cry for food or sleep. But a cry to the lover of my soul. My parents turned to face me from the front of the car and asked me why I was crying. "I love Jesus" I replied.

Other memories stay fresh in my mind as well. I remember as a young girl I would pray for others really hard. I would pray with everything I had. I remember taking a pencil and drawing on an entire wall in my bedroom while in prayer. I drew two mountains and a river that ran through them. In that river I wrote the names of every single person I knew who was not in love with this man the way I was. And I prayed. I prayed daily for them.

There have been several instances where I've felt the arms of this man's love wrap around me when I was at my weakest point. Oh his love was real. And no one could convince me otherwise.

I have loved him as long as I can remember. I knew his love before I ever knew the love of any other man. He has been there for me always. And I know I don't deserve it. His love I cannot fathom. His faithfulness I cannot comprehend. How he could love me the way he does is incredible. I've never known a love this good.

I've found true love in him. Through him I've learned what love is and what love is not. He satisfies my soul. When I feel I'm all alone he reminds me he is there. When my heart was broken he picked up the pieces. When I have done wrong he has restored my innocence. What love is this? A human will never understand how the heart of God could love a lowly man.

I just wanted to take the time to brag on him. He always leaves me feeling good. He never hurts me or ignores me. He is always everything I need. I am so grateful for the opportunities he has given me. And most importantly for the people he has placed in my life. He has truly blessed me with lifetime people. And he is showing me how to love them. How to love like he does. I thank him for that.

I think all the time about how he has carefully planned out my life from before I was even thought of. My parents did not come from a generation of people in love with him. They didn't even know who he was. And to think that he stopped them dead in their tracks to personally introduce himself to them. I look around my family and see that if I had been born to anyone other than my parents I may have never known him. It blows my mind that out of hundreds of family members God chose me. I will forever be grateful to a God who ordered my steps before I even had feet.

Today he continues to amaze me. I can't wait to spend eternity with him. He truly is my "happy ever after"!