A Good Woman

It's been awhile since I've had the urge to write a post. But late last night the urge hit me like an onslaught of rain. I was completely drenched in thoughts on the topic I want to discuss. For the past month or so I have been dealing with a myriad of things. I've been confused and nervous- constantly living life on the edge of my seat (and that's not a good thing). Its so easy to get wrapped up in your emotions and the actions of others when your focus is off. One thing that has been on my mind for a few days now is the idea of a good woman. I've had numerous conversations with friends (both male and female) on what they believe makes up a "good woman".

Just ask any man today and he will tell you that he is looking for a good woman. If I've heard it once I've heard it twice. And the cool part is that for the most part, all women claim to be good. So if it is both true that men want good women and women are good, how is it that finding the right woman is so hard? Well duh! Not all women are good.

Think about this for a moment. What makes up a good woman? Is it her looks? Her intelligence? Ahh, it is her heart!

All women were created by God and thus have common things about them. This we cannot change. Now there are all types of women. Some good some bad. Some ignorant and some wise. I have met women so different it amazes me. I have met women who are deceiving (like Rebekah), women that are negative like (Sarah), even women that are bitter (Like Naomi aka Mara). But then I also have met women like Esther who are courageous, women like Jochebed who put their family first, and women like Mary who are pure at heart. Oh so many different women! Bad women. Good women.

I begin to ask myself just which woman am I? I've had my moments of deceit and negativity, yet I've also had times of courage and maturity. But I couldn't pinpoint just which of those moments defined me. I wanted so bad to be a good woman, but I wanted to be honest with myself as well.

Ya see, I've had plenty of men tell me that I was a good woman- "marriage material". Yet I questioned it because I wasn't so sure if I was, seeing as I had yet to be promised to a man. I remember being so bitter after my breakup last year that I wrote a horrible FB post. One of my friends from Bible college commented and said something that I will never forget. She told me that God was saving me for someone who would recognize my value. She said not to mope about being last but to rejoice because God was preparing me to be first. At the time it was sweet, but I didn't quite understand. I just thought how could I be a good woman if I always got left by these men? I couldn't get past that reasoning. I mean really, why would someone leave a good thing? It's incomprehensible to me.

So for the last year or so I have continually straddled the fence on whether or not I was considered a good woman. I knew my intentions were good, but really I just couldn't understand what made a woman good. And then, like an epiphany, it hit me. It is my heart. The Bible speaks of the heart so much. Remember that scripture that says God looks at the heart? That's right! He didn't see Mary's marital status or age- He seen her heart. And when he smote Sapphira, it wasn't about her actions- it was heart! God looks at the heart every time. So I began to look at my heart. For the first time I didn't need someone else to tell me if I was a good woman or not. I would look into my own heart and see for myself.

I peered through that ever so fragile heart of mine and seen a small bright light. I felt relaxed and at ease. And what I seen was truth. The intentions of my heart are pure and loving. At the center of my heart was an overflowing river of love for the things of my Father. My heart has no wicked plans. I am longing to do the will of my Father. And ya know what? I found out the kind of woman I am. Just like Proverbs describes the good woman, my heart described me. Although I am not married, my heart showed an unconditional love for my husband and children. It showed a willingness to serve and to teach and nurture. I saw the ability to create and instill. And greater than any of those I saw a passion for the Christ.

So you want to know what makes a good woman fellas? A woman who serves the Lord, who is not measured by the size of her butt and breasts. A woman who is more concerned with the well-being of you and the children. She loves unconditionally and when she is hurt she takes it to God. She doesn't bad mouth you or intentionally disrespect you. She is 100% in your corner and her emotions couldn't change that in a lifetime.

I know that this post was rather long, but I think it is important that men know good women do exist. And that women know it is the content of their heart that makes up their "goodness".

A word of advice. God said he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. So the next time your pondering whether the woman you are with is a good woman, how about looking at God's criteria? Does she add to you? Does she give? Does she love? The book of Proverbs can not only tell you what a good woman is but it can tell you the woman to run from. A good woman does exist. And when you find her, don't let her go because she is worth more than rubies and her value cannot be appraised.

Whoa! Did you hear that good women? Our value cannot be appraised. Our value cannot be appraised. Amen.