As hard as it is sometimes for me to find words to tell people what it is that I want, I can do it better by writing it down. Ya see, my brain goes a million miles per second. Different thoughts and ideas blow through my mind like a whirlwind. They are tossed into an ocean of sorts and float around as I try to fish each one out. But sometimes its soo hard just to catch one...and when I do a lot of the times I have no idea what to do with them.
So here I find myself reaching out to so many things but not having enough room in my arms to carry them all. All my dreams and ambitions....I strive to be great. But how do I obtain everything I want? How do I weed out the things that I don't need?
A month ago I decided it was time for a visit home. It had been three months since I seen my family and I needed a little vacation as well. As soon as I walked in the great big doors I felt peace. Everything was so peaceful and the presence of God- OH the presence of God embraced me. The pain I was feeling in my jaw from my wisdom tooth subsided and all the choas in my mind was at ease. This is what I had been needing and what my spirit longed for. I realized that I didn't have to reach out and grab those things out of the ocean and sort through them to find the right wants. As if He were Santa Claus, GOD had already sorted through them for me and slung them over his shoulder holding them for me so that instead of holding them myself I could use those same arms to embrace Him!
My mom, sister, grandma and I went out for lunch yesterday and as we were talking Kendall asked me what my goals were and what I was doing to acheive them. I got frustrated while trying to explain.
But here it is people...I really do know what I want in life.
I want to launch a successful business that ultimately someone else can run and that will free me up to do other things such as:
I want to do volunteer work for the homeless and parentless and teenagers and young women.
I want to have a family and raise Godly children that will take souls for God.
I want my husband to be able to do what he wants and together be a Godly example of what this world needs.
I want to travel with my friends and family to see the world and make lasting memories that we will cherish forever.
I want to teach other young women how to be successful.
I want to tell people about Jesus and see people's lives changed.
But most importantly I want to go with God. I don't want any of this if God is not involved.
So here I am basking in the sweet presence of God at my parents house and I realize that I don't have to reach out and grab those things out of the ocean and sort through them to find the right wants. As if He were Santa Claus, GOD has already sorted through them for me and slung them over his shoulder to carry so that instead of holding them myself I could use those same arms to embrace Him!
This is my heart. That everything I do produce a God seed and generate a global reproduction for as long as humans are on this earth.
I pray that God sends people in my life who are in agreement with these goals and who help push me to acheive these and hold me accountable.
Because my goals are straight from the heart of God I believe that I can have them. When we want what God wants then what we want is all that matters!
God will provide for every need to help us reach these goals.
I know I haven't written a post in awhile and why I have decided to write one now is because the Holy Spirit is tugging on my heart strings very strongly. I don't think I've ever felt it this strong and urgent. I must be about my Father's business.
And so do you. Some of you reading this I know have been struggling to find what it is that you are supposed to do in this life while others of you already know. All of us have obstacles that seem very difficult to accomplish due to our schedules, jobs, and/or lack of funds. I know because I'm there. Asking God how I can do this when that is in the way? How do I overcome this when that is not helping? Here is the answer youve been waiting for: You CAN do it through Christ. He creates a way of escape from our sins and a door of opportunity for our successes. Now let Him illuminate that way and open that door!
Don't worry about anything or anyone....my new prayer is "though none go with me still I will follow"...so if that means I may have to leave some people behind to grasp hold of the hem of His garment so be it. It may hurt but will never amount to the peace that I will find in my lover and friend.
Ok this is a lot but its on my heart. I feel God so strongly here and I have to give in. Its like a the groom is calling for his bride, a lover yearning for the intimacy of his wife. I'm coming! I will always be your beloved!
Ahhh alas! I get it! I hope you all see that you can have the goals and desires of your heart when you put God first.
Pray for me as I pray for you in these times that call for desperate measures.
XOXO
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