Last night on our way home from church, my husband and I had a conversation that really got my attention. I honestly had to humble myself and take a step back to ask: am I really this way? Do I really have a problem when people don't think like I do? And being very truthful with myself, the answer is yes.
I began to search within myself and it didn't take long to see that he was absolutely right.
I have a problem when people don't think like me.
I think the biggest problem is with people's money dealings. I have always said that I can't stand people who don't know how to handle their money. I cringed whenever people told me about their non-budgeting lifestyle. My stomach would literally turn in knots as I thought about how "retarded" that person was for not being frugal with their income. It made me sick. People on welfare and using the government made me sick and caused my insides to scream.
Not only did I have a problem with people who had no respect for their money, I had a problem with people who didn't want to make money. I can't remember a time when I wasn't trying out a new business venture- I'd been doing it since I was in elementary school. I would create drawings and go door to door and sell them. I created my own drink called Dare at the age of 10 and sold it. I had a one-time restaurant where I cooked and sold food by the plate at age 12...I was a real business woman! And recently I found several little odd ventures that were easy to generate a small income from. I shared these with others and so many refused. I got mad at people and angry with them. I didn't understand how people would refuse to do something so simple as signing up for a free site to make extra gas money. It just didn't register to me. I could go on and on about the little things I have tried introducing to people and how they were shot down and how bitter I became about them, but I won't.
More than just money, I have a problem with bad behavior- especially when it comes to children. I love kids but goodness gracious nothing makes me more upset than an unbehaved child. As recently becoming a stepmother has opened my eyes to raising a child I have realized I have other problems as well. I just about lose my marbles when a kid is disrespectful and selfish.
But then, just last night, it hit me. My problem isn't with people and their money or children and their behavior; it's with me! I think that I am so awesome that I expect everyone to be like me. I expect everyone to be enthusiastic about a new product or opportunity as much as I am. I expect them to want to make money and then save it and be frugal. I expect children to act like I did when I was a kid- respectful and loving. I act as if someone has committed a crime if they don't do what I would have done if I were in their shoes. Is my ego that big that I believe everyone should be just like me?
I'm honestly just so embarrassed and concerned with my inner being that it hurts. Of course there are good things about myself, but these character flaws have got to go. No one will ever be just like me or think the way that I do. So it's time for me to let go of my pride and some of my expectations and realize that everyone is different- and for good reason!
I wrote this to be transparent. I don't want people talking about me, I want people to be encouraged that they aren't the only ones who may be struggling in this area. I challenge you to take a good look at yourself this year and come to terms with the real you. Let go and let God. Embrace others who are different and who think different. Remove yourself from the mighty throne you've set yourself on. De-crown yourself as king and embrace the kingdom as a peasant.
The Bible warns us not to stand in the way of sinners- that's exactly what you do when you expect people to be like you. Get out of the way so they can see Jesus and not you!
God bless you all and I'm wishing you all the best in 2014!
Hey, Mercedes, I'm glad to meet you :) And don't be too hard on yourself. We all make mistakes and sometimes judge others more than we judge ourselves. But realizing it is the first step. I know how you feel about people wasting money and not being frugal. It took me some time to learn to set aside my feelings about it :) But now I'm just trying to help those who ask for help, and others can do whatever they want with their finances because that's what He blessed them with and they are accountable to Him, not me. Not that I never have my moments, I still work on it too :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting Lena! You are absolutely right and I'm glad that you show how to be frugal in your blog. I cant wait to read your next post. Thanks for taking out some time to read this one. I hooe my transparency has encouraged you in some way. If not, there are plenty more posts of encouragement to choose from! ;-)
ReplyDeleteHope*
Delete